This is a letter fo my Mother,
This month is my 1st time celebratin my own bday without my Mother. Its not easy… to let go someone u love so much, someone who always protect u by heart, someone that u can always depend on, someone u can always trust, someone u can always talk to when u don’t have anyone.
Mother in this past few months, ive been struggle a lot not to missin u, not to miss how u cook, not to miss how u smell, not to miss how funny u r, not to miss family touch in this family, not to miss any every inch bout u.. everytime n everywhere I do n I go.. I always think bout u.
The past 24 years wif u, I thank u Mother fo teachin me a lotsa thins in life.. to learn how to love someone by heart, to think bout future more, to always look down n b humble, to always think bout people who needs more than us, to always lean on Jesus Christ, to cook, to smile, to put on make up n look pretty, to b strong, to lov family stronger than anything, to hug, to kiss, to touch, to tears someone by heart.
U knw fo sure i never can b choosen as d strongest one in family.. but Ive learned a lot from u.. ive learned how u struggle everythin fo ur family.. from givin me birth, from nursing me urself, from teach me how to call u Mother n call Daddy Father..teach me how to count, teach me history n fairy tales, n when I got bigger.. u taught me how to love, how to b responsible as a woman, how to b a real woman by believing myself, how to keep believing and always live in Gods hands.
This past few months ive tried to b someone like u.. someone stronger.. I always live my life knowin I wont make u sad n shame. I know ull always b there fo me, I want u to see me frm up there n proud n smile.. I always want ur happiness more than anything Mother.
This more year in my age.. makin me realize that im big enuf.. im mature enuf to knw whts gud n whats wrong, whts more important n whats less, knowin im big enuf to let go someone I love so much for her own happiness. I hv no regret Mother, Ive tried my best to make u happy in life n u knw I Love u so much. Lettin u go is d hardest thin that I shud do. And knowin u’ve tried ur best for 15years fo all chemo treatment, theraphy, weekly blood test, monthly injection, ct-scan, pet-scan, weekly infusion, daily pills..daily thousand pills that I already threw away.. is more than enuf.. ull always b our hero, our role model.. someone we look up for years n forever n we lov u so much
Fo every tears n blood.. its all worth to let people know I hv such an amazing angel in my life. I knw fo sure tht ull always there, protectin me n live happily wif Jesus Christ. Fo every candles that ill blow.. each will have ur name on it.. Here Mother I thank u so much fo bein flawless n I thank God cause He loves me so much to let me protected n nursed by an angel fo years. This Mother.. this blog this dream that im steppin n workin on.. these r fo u..im doin okay. I knw wht to do,n wht shud do.. I just wanna say that its impossible not to missin u.. Ill always miss u but I knw Mother this is d time to let u go.. to knw that im big enuf to take care of myself.. im big enuf to live myself alone.. I just wanna say thank u n im so proud of u and theres none can take ur place in my heart.
Rest In Peace Imelda Simatauw
23-9-09
